Worth it, Worth it Not
by Evil Azurill
Summary: We never saw Professor Sebastian's reaction when he found out his lab was destroyed and the Gyarados got away. This is how he takes the news... Takes place immediately after the Red Gyarados episodes.


Author's Note: Before you read this, you should know just a tad about the Raikou special. Don't go away if you don't know what it's about, because I'll explain what you need right now. Professor Sebastian was in it, he invented the Crystal System that Bashou and Buson used to try and capture Raikou. They did not succeed, and that project was a failure. I imagine Sebastian was upset, don't you? The Red Gyarados episodes take place just a few episodes after the time the Raikou special happened…so this fic is how Professor Sebastian would react to two failures in a row. I can proudly say that I think this is the only fic out there about Professor Sebastian….maybe 'cause I'm his only fan ;; Or at least I think I am... Anyways…please read and enjoy. And review…I'm collecting those. Thanks!  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!!!!! Bahaha!! So nobody sue me.  
  
Worth it, Worth it Not  
  
" WHAT?!!"  
  
" I'm sorry, sir, but-"  
  
" Imbecile!! How could you let this happen?! I worked HARD on that device!! How the _fuck_ could you let this happen?!"  
  
" It wasn't my fault! I left those two rookies and their Meowth in charge. They-"  
  
" Shut up!"   
  
Words cannot express the rage I'm feeling right now. My entire experiment, destroyed. The only test subject I had, gone. The squadron leader, Tyson, who came with such high recommendations from Giovanni, calling me from a jail cell!!  
  
"…Professor Sebastian? Are you still there?"  
  
"…"  
  
I hang up the phone and just stand still for a moment. A team of my best scientists is assembled here on the helicopter landing pad on top of the main base, awaiting an arrival that only I know will never get here. I don't want to turn around and explain the fact that Project Revolution was a failure. Because then they'll know that it's the second failure in a row for me. I can just hear what they'll say behind my back.  
  
_His work's been slipping lately, you know.  
  
Did you hear about Project R?  
  
If he's the best scientist we've ever had on Team Rocket, then why does everything he's involved in fall apart?  
  
Maybe the Boss shoulda made Dr. Nanba the head professor…  
  
_ I can't let that happen. But I know there's nothing I can do about it now…the project has already failed, and I am soon to be labeled a failure.  
  
Without a word, I throw my cellphone as hard as I can off the building and watch in solemn silence as it lands on the busy street below, breaking right before getting run over by an ill-cared for SUV.  
  
Silence behind me now. All the small talk about why was this taking so long and who was kissing who on Saturday has ceased; they are all staring at me now. I don't see it, but I can feel it. I hear slow footsteps behind me as one of my many understudies approaches me.  
  
"…Dr. Sebastian?" he asks. "…what's the word from Mahogony Town? Did they experience a delay…?"  
  
I don't respond. I'm beyond words now…and I don't know what my reaction would be if I DID reply to his question. Every other word might be a swear, I may curse Tyson's family name and wish his mother and father had never met, or it's possible that I could break down into tears….and we can't have that, can we?  
  
I hear one of the female scientists urge the young man standing behind me to ask again.  
  
"…professor?" he says weakly. "…are you okay?"  
  
I turn and walk past him without so much as a passing glace. I don't look at any of them, though most are repeating my name and asking what happened. I open the door and walk back inside the main base, slamming it behind me as hard as I can, hoping they'll understand that it isn't an invitation to follow me.  
  
Wherever the hell I'm going.  
  
I don't even know.  
  
…  
  
Yes I do…  
  
I don't make eye contact with anyone I pass in the halls. I just want to hurry up and get back to my laboratory, to my adjoining office, my thoughts a scrambled mess the whole time.  
  
_ why dammit why Sebastian why did you even get into this organization it's not good for you why I'll fucking tell you why you needed the money besides you were good at what you did…  
_  
Were and did are the key words here. I know what I plan to do once I get where I'm going. I know what I keep in the top left drawer, just in case. In case of what, I never knew, but I think I've finally found a purpose.  
  
Nothing with my involvement is supposed to fail. I'm the head of the Team Rocket Research Department. I know they'll never let me hear the end of it. I realize it's a bad trait, I but I care so much about what others think of me, I know I won't be able to take it. If I'm dead, I won't care anymore, will I? I won't know what's going on…and that sounds pretty good to me right now.  
  
Here I am. Yes. At last.  
  
Turning on the light, I go directly to the drawer. Taking out the revolver, I don't hesitate to put in in my mouth and close my eyes.   
  
_what are you doing stupid_  
  
I pause.  
  
Opening my eyes, the first thing I see is a framed degree on the wall. I have lots of them, I'm qualified in many fields of research and even medicine.  
  
_The most powerful scientist in the history of Team Rocket_  
  
That's what people say about me. I worked hard to get where I am today.  
  
Maybe I shouldn't…  
  
No. They won't be saying it anymore now, that's what we've already established.  
  
But still…  
  
…what if I don't…  
  
Taking the weapon out of my mouth, I empty all the bullets except for one. Then I give a good spin so I don't know where it is. Russian roulette…I've always wondered what it would be like to play. This way, I don't have to make a decision.  
  
When I pull the trigger, if I die, then I guess it really isn't worth it. But if nothing happens, then I can walk out of my office and just bear it. Better days will come, I suppose.  
  
Returning to my original position, I close my eyes once again. Taking a deep breath, I pull the trigger.  
  
Author's Note (again): Ooooh…cliffhanger-ness! Did he die? Did he live? I don't know…whatever you wanted him to do. I actually wrote this fic a long time ago...right after the Red Gyarados episodes first premiered in the US. I've just never done anything with it...but now that I have a ff.net account, I edited it up and bam! You can read it. Since I'm totally obsessed and in love with this particular character, I think he lived. But, hey, why don't you review and let me know what you think happened? Hint hint, wink wink… 


End file.
